It's fairly obvious to observe that the Christian community and the LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered and Queer) community live at odds with each other. They're two "camps" each locked into committed beliefs about homosexuality, and strong passions with respect to each other. They are two camps that seemingly find it impossible to accept each other until they first agree with each other. But what if there was another way? What if both sides "lowered their weapons" to just talk? And what if that conversation elevated love ahead of truth? In what ways could we both represent Christ if we could learn to accept each other without necessarily needing to agree with each other?

1. How comfortable or uncomfortable were you during Jeff's talk this week? What were you feeling? Why?

• What made you uncomfortable, something that you heard or something that you were hoping to hear but didn't? Why did this matter to you?
• In what ways would you affirm, or deny, that the Church and our culture engages in behaviours that are anti-homosexual, either prejudice, discrimination or homophobia? Why do you feel this way?
• Why do you think that straight people in the church have such a hard time being a "We" with the LGBTQ community, even for something as urgent and practical as addressing teenage suicide?

2. In Sarah's story, she refers to the "struggles and oppression and the hard times that homosexuals face from people in our community". Would this represent your sense of the typical gay experience in our culture and the Church? Why or why not?

• Read Matthew 15:18-19. When you think about the things that come out of your mouth, do you feel that marginalizing gays is a struggle for you personally? Why? How would someone from the LGBTQ community describe what's in your heart?
• Read Luke 15:1-2. Given how Jesus treated other marginalized people groups (children, women, lepers, prostitutes, tax collectors, criminals, the poor, the old, sick and unclean), how do you think Jesus would have related to the LGBTQ community?
• Would the LGBTQ community consider you to be their friend? Why or why not? Do you have gay friends (i.e. people with whom you socialize, visit in each other's homes, introduce to other friends, etc.)? Why? What does this tell you about your heart?

3. Why do you think that Christians and the LGBTQ community struggle to be friends even though they may disagree about this issue? What do both sides contribute to making this so hard?

• Do you believe that there is such a thing as a "gay Christian", someone who is homosexual in orientation but eagerly desires to love and follow Jesus? Why or why not?
• Read Romans 14:13, 17; 15:5-7. Why do we prioritize theological agreement about a non-salvation issue like homosexuality, when Paul specifically commands us not to judge each other about this kind of thing? Why is it so hard to just accept one another?
• Read 1 Corinthians 13:2. What makes us believe that being right on this (or any) issue supercedes the priority to be loving? What makes it so hard to make our theology about sexuality a minor issue?
• How would the conversation change if both sides made love the same priority as the scriptures do?

"...none of us were born living out God's ideal and, even sexually, all of us have deviated from God's ideal design. All of us have urges and desires and promptings contrary to His ideal, but all of us have been invited by Jesus to, in following Him, be progressively shaped and conformed to God's ideal for human sexuality through the process of supernatural discipline."

4. That was how Jeff described a theology of sexuality. Where do you agree with Jeff and where do you disagree? Why?

• Given that Jeff applied this theology to culturally-accepted sexual behaviours, common even in the church (lust, pornography, masturbation, extra-martial affairs, over-flirtatiousness, premarital sex), why do we treat homosexuality so uniquely?
• Why do we resort, in all these conversations to excuses such as: "that's just me; I'll never change," or, "But it feels so good, how can it be bad", rather than confronting the hard questions, and making the hard choices, about what God wants for our lives?
• Jeff's point was that he is hesitant to be open about his beliefs with his LGBTQ friends because he is also afraid of not being accepted because of disagreement. How can we overcome this fear and learn to have open, loving conversations with our LGBTQ friends?

5. End your time together by engaging in prayer with each other and for each other.

• Pray for each other, that God would end the marginalizing anti-homosexual attitudes and behaviours in our own lives and across our community, so that we can become a church that accepts others, even when we disagree.
• Pray for those in our community (and perhaps in your group) who are struggling with, or who have come to terms with, their LGBTQ orientation. Pray that they would feel accepted, befriended and loved in our community and beyond, and that they would learn to love and follow Jesus, just as the rest of us are.
• Pray for those outside of our community who are struggling with, or who have come to terms with, their LGBTQ orientation. Pray that God would surround them with people who love them (like us) and spare them from marginalization and the despair and anguish that often results.
• Pray that God would be glorified in how the Church learns to befriend the LGBTQ community.